5 Steps to Take When Your Teen Wants to Live With the Other Parent

You want what's best for your children. That can be difficult where divorce is concerned, especially when your children have their own opinion about where they want to be. You hope that your children choose to be with you, but that's not always what happens. In some instances, children decide that they'd rather be with the other parent. When they're young, you can depend on the judgment of the courts to explain why the custody arrangements can't change.

However, as they enter their teenage years, children want their voice to be heard. If your teenager has decided that they want to live with the other parent, you can't just say no, but you can take steps to avoid emotional confrontations. Here are five steps to take if your child no longer wants to live with you.

1. Create an Atmosphere for Dialogue

If your teen has asked to live with their other parent, don't shut down. Communication is crucial during moments like this. Your teen needs to know that their concerns are being taken seriously and that you do value their opinions. Often, parents shut down any attempts at communication once a child voices a desire to move in with the other parent.

Unfortunately, that approach often leads to a feeling of isolation and alienation for both the parent and the child. As soon as your child voices a desire to live with the other parent, be sure to open the lines of communication.

2. Put Yourself in Your Child's Shoes

If your teen has requested a custody change, don't take the request personally. Most likely, there quest wasn't made as a personal attack against you. Instead, there quest may stem from a desire to spend more time with the other parent. Instead of an immediate negative response, take the time to put yourself in your child's shoes. Find out exactly why your teen wants to make the change so that you can understand their thought process.

3. Keep Your Ex Off the Sidelines

As soon as your teen makes are quest for custody change, bring your ex into the conversation. The last thing you want to do is keep the other parent on the sidelines. That can create a situation where your ex is left feeling alienated from the process.

However, when you sideline your ex, you also provide the perfect environment for your teen to play both sides against the middle. Instead, bring your ex into the conversation so that you can forma united front to discuss the changes openly, effectively and without the raw emotion.

4. Attempt a Trial Run

If you have concerns about an abrupt change to the custody agreement, attempt a trial run. Sit down with the other parent and work together to create a modified schedule that you can all agree to. Perhaps, your child can live with the other parents for several months to see how the situation unfolds.

At the end of the trial run, sit down as a group to discuss the pros and cons of the trial period. If your teen still wants to make a permanent transition, work with the other parent to make the necessary changes.

5. Consider the Use of a Mediator

If conversations about custody changes don't work out, or if there are sticking points to the agreement, you may need to bring in a mediator. One of the benefits of a mediator is that they won't let personal feelings interfere with doing what's best for your child.

If your teen no longer wants to live with you, don't let emotion get in the way of doing what's best for your child. The tips provided here can help you resolve emotional situations such as this. If you have questions or concerns and you reside in the Medford, OR, area, contact us at the Law Offices of Jamie L. Hazlett & Associates. We're hereto help you resolve your custody issues.