Tips for Speaking to Young Children About Divorce

Undoubtedly, one of the most painful parts of going through a divorce is telling others your relationship is ending. Among the most difficult people to discuss divorce with are your children. Children are especially vulnerable, so discussing the end of a marriage can be difficult.

If you are struggling to tell your child about your divorce, you may need some help determining what to do next. These tips will help you face your fear and encourage your child to develop and grow in spite of the ongoing changes.

Choose a Comforting Setting
Telling your child that his or her parents are divorcing is a sensitive issue. As a result, you should be mindful of the place in which you choose to give the news. For example, you should avoid telling your child in a public place where he or she will feel uncomfortable expressing their emotions about the issue.

Use Simple Wording
One of the most difficult parts of telling your child about the divorce is finding the words that will help them best understand what is happening. Using simple concepts is a great way to initiate the conversation.

You might first start by saying that while both parents still love the child, they will be happier living apart. Additionally, reassure the child that both parents will remain a significant portion of his or her life.

Try to Tell the Child Together
When one parent is in charge of discussing the divorce with the children, it becomes much easier to alienate the other parent. The child may interpret the act of one parent discussing the divorce as the other parent no longer being a part of his or her life. This can be frightening for a young child.

Additionally, don't use children to send messages to the other parent. Direct communication or communication through your entire is essential if you want to avoid using your child as a messenger.

Tell All the Children at Once

In some cases, parents make the mistake of telling one child at a time, instructing them to keep the secret from other siblings. This can build resentment and anxiety in the child and also strain their relationships with other siblings. Telling all the children at once prevents the need for secrets within the family.

Consider Therapy
Divorce can have a different effect on each child. Some children react positively, happy that the anger at home will end, and others are very sad or upset. Regardless, the major changes that are about to occur may warrant a visit to a therapist.

In therapy, children work with each other, alone, or with parents to discuss their concerns and transition into a healthy, happy life. Children feel safe discussing their feelings with the therapist, and they also feel comfortable with the coping skills they learn there.

Some children witness two or three divorces of one or both parents before they turn 18. In these situations, children may need help from mental health professionals. Divorce can have emotional and physical side effects that often go unnoticed by parents.

Work With a Family Law Attorney

One of the best things you can do for your child is work through the divorce as quickly as possible. Spreading out the divorce over months or even years can do more harm than good for the children. Hiring an attorney is a great way to get through the divorce process efficiently.

The Law Offices of Jamie L. Hazlett & Associates understands the importance of considering children when you are going through a divorce. If you are in the Medford area, call our office today to discuss your options for divorce.